Friends

Here is where my blog gets sappy. I miss my best friends. Sometimes I feel like that ugly kid in school that everyone is pelting with dodgeballs while pointing and laughing. That is, when I see other best friends hanging out. I have gone through the stage of being sad. I have gone through the stage of being pissed off with all of them for not doing their parts to keep in touch. I have gone through the "The Must Be Something Wrong With Me" stage. Now I believe I am going through all of them at the same time.

Sam and I have been best friends since the fifth grade. There were sleepovers at her place, parties, and of course the age-old hobby of skipping class together (We were EVERY teacher's pet and we had some of the highest grades in our class so we were pretty much allowed.) On our graduation night, she and I even decided not to party but to spend time reflecting and planning ahead under the stars at the Riverwalk. We have seen boyfriends come and go. We have laughed together. We have cried together and experienced some of life's most bittersweet moments side by side. Then I came to college. Sam got married. And things have never been the same.

Aurora and I have been best friends since the seventh grade. She and I had Halloween themed birthday parties, went on late night joyrides, and treated life as our own personal playground. We both understood the pressure of people thinking our exterior was so nice and shiny but knowing all along what wrecks we were inside. We talked about running away from the monotony that was home and doing much bigger and better things with our lives. Her family is my family. My family is her family. She is the mother of my beautiful goddaughter and one missing piece of my life's puzzle.

I speak to Byron almost every day but it seems like with the exception of less than an hour on the weekend of Honda Battle of the Bands, it has been forever since he and I hung out. I had a plan to visit him in July. But due to the fact that I have a new job that I will be in extensive training for, that is a no go. And he will be starting graduate school at SIU Carbondale on August 18.

Bryan is the one I can't bring back. I learned of his death on my birthday and it is a moment that is seared into my memory forever. There were always whispers of there being something more between us. Even our mothers thought so. But the truth is, we were pretty much twin spirits who found each other in the hallways of a junior high school. I miss him. I probably always will.

I have to go now. Gym class is back in session and the dodgeball court awaits.


JUSTICE