The Ugly Truth

I feel really fat and ugly. Actually, I have for quite some time. To anyone who says I'm not justified, tell me that after I walk through a mall I used to turn heads in just a few years ago without getting so much as a "How are you" from the opposite sex. Tell me that after I leave a party and no one tries to get my number. Say that when I see a cute dress but I can't buy it because it's short and my thighs will ruin it. I do have skinny friends who tell me I'm beautiful but I think they say it because they think I will kill myself if I don't hear it and they don't want a poor fat girl's death on their hands. While it is flattering to hear, they aren't men and they don't have to date me. And then it makes them look like assholes when we go places and no one talks to me but they brag to me about all of the men who come at them. I love them but I want to choke those skinny bitches when they do that.

Have you ever noticed that people say the dumbest things when they are supposed to be making you feel good about yourself? They say things like "You're a beautiful person" and then they tell you how smart you are. That is all good but I don't know one man who says, "She weighs more than a baby elephant but she really does look smart". I also never hear them say, "Her face is a disaster but she has a good heart. I think I'll marry her". Men, like women are visual. They may admire these things about you later, but you have to have something that hooks you. You can say all you want that looks don't matter. But no one wants to wake up lying next to a nightmare every morning. No one wants to sound shallow but at the same time, you want to be with someone you find attractive and leave the leftovers to themselves.

I really don't know what my hook used to be nor where I lost it. But I do know that I'm kinda tired of waiting on this fence post, staring down the road, just hoping to catch a glimpse of it as it makes its way back.


JUSTICE