Okay, I'll Bite

I wasn't gonna do this. But there have been way too many "Why Black Women Are Single" spots coming on tv nowadays for me to keep quiet. Judging from a friend's recent misfortune and a lifetime of my own, I feel I am more than qualified to speak. First of all, let me say that my daddy (R.I.P) and my brother are all the proof I need that somewhere in the world exist good Black men. Secondly, this morning I was awakened by a picture message with the subject line, "Look What This Bastard Did". When I opened the photo, I saw remnants of a face I used to know. Only this version of the face was splattered with purple bruises and red cuts and soaked in its own blood mixed with its own tears. The nose broken and not sure which way to go. The lips cut, swollen and a bit downturn. A knot on the forehead threatening to burst and bleed. I remember the face I used to know. It was happy, lighthearted and nothing like this one. We will call my friend "Amy" for the sake of this post. Amy and I have known each other since the 7th grade and since I have known her, she has dreamed of love and marriage. But like many of us, Amy has run into nothing but bad luck. Oh, did I forget to mention Amy isn't Black? As a matter of fact, she calls herself "one of the whitest girls you will ever know". After seeing the picture, I called Amy. It turns out, the picture was taken three weeks ago and she is healing. She tells me she saw a couple of the spots on Black women. Then she has this to say:

"It's not just Black women. Most of the women in my family have major problems with the men they date. I have a lot of White friends who do too. We have the same problems with our men. I think the only reason they put the spotlight on Black women is because y'all are more vocal about it."

That was interesting because I felt the same way. Yes Sistas, I know that just because we don't mention it doesn't mean the problem doesn't exist. But the reason shows like this exist is that we voice our "Niggas ain't shit" theories so much. Then we are not open to interracial dating so that leaves no options at all. We have to know that if every woman found The One the very first time around, most of us would never even go on dates. I have been cheated on. I have been beaten. I have been berrated. I have had my virtue stolen and I have had times where I was just fed up. I am even guilty of saying "Men ain't shit". But I do give myself time to get over those moments of bitterness and not typecast because of the few bad actors I have casted. I might not ever find my leading man, but I will stop making men the villains. So in short, Black women, ALL women have the problems but our men suffer because we judge without looking at ourselves. Now if you look within and truly find that you aren't the problem, then fine. By all means, leave and go on to the next one. But leave the jawjacking behind. You can't be upset when Dateline only repeats what you say. Don't get mad. Just shut up.